Er. Anthony Crowley has been ported out, for anyone keeping track.

[click. Someone is off to get extremely drunk.]

[Here's Aziraphale, looking the most awkward.]

Hrm. Well. As a few of you might know, I, ah, run a small bookshop- dealing mostly in hard-to-find old things, you know- and... well. I'm afraid I... lost a delivery, about a week ago, under some rather puzzling circumstances. A rather rare Persian alchemical text titled 'The Will and the Loom', with ( Read more... )

Has anyone seen or found themselves mysteriously in possession of a copy of Buggre Alle Thif Bible? Or, well. The copy; I don't think any others exist in this dimension, and. Well.

I'd quite like it back. I'm willing to offer a reward to the finder; I don't know exactly what the going rate would be, but consider me open to any suggestions you may

[Aziraphale is in a park, standing at the shore of a pond. A pond full of dark red liquid, and some suddenly enthusiastically drinking ducks.

He looks a bit distressed.]

I really have no idea how this happened. Er. I suppose I ought to talk to the proper authorities, but I'm not sure I could explain...

[Aziraphale is looking decidedly unwell. By which I mean hungover. But at least there's no visible lace.]

Well. Now that we're all here and in our accustomed minds and bodies, more or less, I did have a question I was going to put to the, er, superhero population. And I suppose anyone else it might apply to.

Erm.
[He takes out a scrap of paper, and ( Read more... )

[Aziraphale's speaking a little too loudly, and his voice sounds decidedly rough around the edges.]

Well. This is a surprise.

Could someone tell me what the date is? Has anything very unusual happened since, oh, noon Saturday?

[and, apparently as an afterthought]

Reply by text, please.

( private to A.J. Crowley; )

[In a crackle of green on black, the face of a creature appears: black, fanged, and vaguely anubis-like in appearance - aside from the sunglasses, anyway. His fangs are bared just slightly, in something resembling a grin. It appears he's somehow gotten a hold of Aziraphale's communicator ( Read more... )

 [Everything is momentarily dark, and, shortly after, very bright; a lot of fire seems to be being flung around, and it's coming in colors fire doesn't normally come in. Primarily a sort of lime green, but sprinkled liberally with a radioactive lilac and pierced now and again by tongues of white flame. Shapes are visible through the fuss, but not ( Read more... )

[Aziraphale is staring at the burnt remains of a sheep's eyeball. The burnt remains of the sheep's eyeball are staring back.]

I may have overdone it slightly. What on earth happened last... night?

[He puts the sheep's eyeball down, and picks up a feather. For a moment he looks his age.]

( private to Crowley )

[Aziraphale's face-- held very close to the screen-- is sporting a rather bad sunburn that seems like it would take superhuman effort to acquire in Seattle.]

Er. Gabriel? Sir? Anyone? Hallo?

[He turns the phone upside down, and moves it back a bit. The rest of him comes into view. There's more of the rest of him than usual, and most of that is ( Read more... )